My Slumbering Heart - Chapter Ten

Jason hurried across the piers, heading towards his motorcycle, needing to find an outlet for the rage that continued to boil within him, fighting to be unleashed.  Ever since his conversation with Johnny Zacchara, the feeling had not subsided, but, as the stoic blond crossed the wooden planks, a voice, one that only caused his fury to escalate, stopped him in his tracks.

"Jason, where are you off to in such a hurry," the younger man heard Ric sneer.  "It's not as if you have a family to rush home to.  Oh wait…  Yes, you do, only it's really Sonny's family not yours.  It must be hard to know that Elizabeth's children are with their father, Lucky Spencer.  What I wouldn't have given to be the father to those two boys."

Rubbing his chin, the lawyer continued, oblivious to the turbulent storm that was building within the ex-enforcer's body.  "That was the one thing I will truly regret about my marriage to Elizabeth - that we never had the child we were destined to have together."

And that was all the older gentleman had to say to cause Jason to snap.  Before Ric could react, the stoic blond had pounced on the brunette.  Quickly and without forethought, Jason pinned him against the pier, his muscular forearm bulging from the force, crushing the other man's throat.

Ric, fearing for his life, continued to attempt to remain smug.  The lawyer saw the pure hatred in the blonde's pale blue eyes as they darkened black with fury.  It wasn't the 'typical' Jason Morgan temper, and it caused Ric to pause and think that maybe he shouldn't have goaded his nemesis to that extreme, but the brunette knew he had the upper hand, and he wasn't going to back down, not now - not when he was so close to his ultimate goal.  If he had to, the lawyer would play his trump card, but, for now, he would just continue to wait.  So the pinned man did the only thing he could think of: he laughed, a very sinister, duplicitous snicker.

Watching Ric laugh only incensed the ex-enforcer even more, causing Jason to fall even deeper into the rage he had left dormant until now.  Unable to stop himself, without forethought of the consequences he may be inducing, the blond began to pound on the older gentleman, first with his fists to the face over, and over, and over again.  The blood started to trickle down the lawyer's face, and Jason's knuckles started to radiate with pain as he continued to beat the man before him, but, as Jason was about to raise his knee to Ric's groin, the mob boss heard a sound, one that again stopped the younger man in his tracks.  It was off in the distance, not close by any means, but its sound resonated as clear as if it was right there in front of him. 

It was a child's laughter. 

Not a specific child, but the sound was so distinct, a tone that immediately caused the ex-enforcer to abandon his task and exit the piers as rapidly as he had tried only moments ago.  Releasing the brunette in disgust, the blond turned and stalked off, never once looking back.  If he had, Jason would have seen Ric rub his bruised jaw with his left hand as he used the other to take a handkerchief from his pants pocket and begin to blot away the blood that had run down his face.  And, as the man continued his task, his lips began to form another smug smile.

~~~

The sound of the wet soft grass making contact with his well worn motorcycle boots had a very calming effect on Jason.  After several hours of riding his bike swiftly along the cliff roads, the stoic blond knew exactly where he needed to go.  So, with a purposeful gait, the mob boss made his way, neither slowly nor quickly, to his intended destination.  If anyone would have characterized Jason's movements at the time, they would most likely have said that he walked with determination, with purpose.

As he arrived at the spot he had so long ago memorized in his brain, the ex-enforcer knelt down, placing simple yet beautiful wildflowers on the grave before him.  He had collected them upon entering the lonely cemetery that housed Elizabeth's marker, her place of burial despite the fact that there had been no body to place there.

Gently caressing the memorial stone that signified the angelic brunette's passing, Jason's cerulean eyes began to shine with unshed tears.  Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, the mob boss released a big breath and began to speak to the only person, except for his grandmother Lila, who had always managed to bring him peace and clarity whenever he needed it.

“God, Elizabeth, I don't know what to do.  You always used to call me your safe place, but, really, you were mine.  You used to say that I listened and... and I helped you, but did you ever truly realize that you did the same for me?  I have never been good with words, but you knew that, and you always accepted me for who I am.  I remember just over a year ago going to speak to Emily's grave and thinking the same thing, that there were so many things I wished I had told her, and now I wish the same... with you."

Pausing as the tears continued to build in his eyes but refused to fall, Jason continued, "I know from the life I have lead and the things that I have been taught that I should retaliate against Johnny Zacchara for his role in Michael's shooting.”  Swallowing the lump that had once again formed in the back of his throat, Jason pressed on with his spoken thoughts.  "But I want to be a better man… for you, but especially for Cameron and Jake.  I don’t just want to be their father; I want to be a father, a man that they can be proud of, one who can live and solve problems without always resorting to violence."

Rubbing his hands down his face, the mob boss took a deep breath and continued on.  "Should I really blame Johnny for the sins of his father?  He was raised in an environment that was filled with violence, a life he didn't choose but one he was born into and forced into nonetheless.  I don't want that life for Jake and Cameron.  They weren't born into it, and, yes, they are too young to choose, but I want them with me.  So what is the choice I should be making?  All I can think about is what if Jake had done what Johnny foolishly did.  I know I would do everything in my power to protect him.  I wish I knew the answer, Elizabeth, but, more than that, I wish you were here to help me find it."

Taking his fingers to his lips and then once again touching the cold stone in a breath of a caress, Jason stood, knowing what needed to be done.  And, as the blond turned to leave, the unshed tears began to cascade down his strong, prominent cheeks; yet, the formidable man did not care and did not bother to brush them away.  As he started to go, he shifted to look at Elizabeth's gravesite once more and whispered, "I miss you, Elizabeth."

Once he reached his motorcycle and had straddled the bike, Jason, pulled out his cell phone and, as the phone range, the ex-enforcer quickly, with the back of his hand, brushed away the tears that had fallen.  As he heard the recipient answer his call, the blond hastily but forcibly said, "meet me in one hour."

But, as Jason hung up his phone and moved to place it in the pocket of his jacket, his senses kicked in, and he heard a noise just off to his right.  Reacting instantly, the ex-enforcer drew his weapon and rapidly turned in the direction of the sound he had just heard.

Silently, the blond saw a figure appear behind a tree, and, as the opponent came into view, Jason's jaw started to clench, and his clear blue eyes began to bore down with pure hatred at the man before him, who, in turn, also held a gun that was directly pointed at the mob boss's chest.

Then he heard the man begin to laugh, and, once the laughter had died away, the older gentleman before him spoke with calm assurance.  "It’s so nice to see you again, Mr. Morgan.  You may want to call back whoever you were talking to and let them know you are going to be a little late."